Or: 7 ways on how to start walking that path
It’s morning, you can barely open your eyes after have snoozed your alarm clock a million times… and you get up unwillingly. You’re dragging towards the kitchen hoping that the first-morning coffee will give you back what you have once lost somewhere – passion and a will to live. Every day seems the same – from home to work, from work to home, from home to a bar… continuously in a neverending loop.
You begin to wonder every day, a whole day, what on Earth has happened to your life!? Where it went wrong!? How you ended up there!? Who tricked you into this and when!?
If you can relate to this description, then this post is for you. Here you will find advice on how to start changing. And the rest is up to you. There is no magic solution, or, everybody’s favorite – instant solution. You keep changing as long as you live.
In order to achieve permanent results, the most important thing to know is the answer to your question ‘’Why?’’.
Why do you want to change?
If it’s been a long while since you felt really alive, and if you ask yourself tons of question, even some that I already mentioned then these are good reasons to do something about it here and now.
Advices you’re gonna find in here are something I have already tried on myself. They are all universal and every one of you can benefit from them. The only difference is what advice are you going to benefit more from. It depends on you and your personality. We are all different, and it’s wrong to think that everyone has to stick blindly to every rule. Don’t be afraid to explore and experiment in order to find the best recipe for yourself.
Ok, so, let’s begin! 🙂
1. Don’t be hard on yourself
You realized that there is something you should change in your life, and now you want it to happen here and now. With this attitude, your brain starts to overheat, and then it shuts down. It realizes it is too much to take and rejects the idea of change as something negative.
Stop! Don’t do it, for God‘s sake, to yourself!
If you want to make changes in your life, you mustn’t be so hard on yourself. The first thing you should do is to accept the idea of change as it is. Just say to yourself: “OK I want to change, and that’s great. I won’t push or force myself. I’ll let this change develop gradually. If it happens that I go back to old patterns of behavior and thinking, I’ll take that as a lesson, and move forward from the place where I got stuck.”
With such an attitude, you will give your brain enough time to adjust. Instead of having to swallow big bites, you’ll make it easier by cutting the idea into small pieces. You’ll let your brain relax and see change as something positive.
2. Take some time off from people who don’t want you to change
On your path of change, there’ll be lots of obstacles. For the sake of more positive approach, I’m gonna call them ‘’contrasts’’. The most important contrast that you will encounter will be people around you who don’t want you to change. Not because they don’t wish you well, it’s just because they don’t like or want any kind of change. They are used to their situation thinking they’re doing just fine in status quo.
Just remember that a few days ago you were there as well. Lulled into a comfort zone where nothing changes and where water becomes a morass and you pretend not to see or feel her stale. Now you have awoken, but the people around you haven’t. When you realize this, you will feel anger, rejection, loneliness and hundreds of other negative emotions. Instinctively, you will want to return to the old path and reject change, finding millions of reasons why your old life is not so bad.
In order not to quit at the very beginning, the best advice I can give you is to take some time off from this kind of people. It’s not necessary to cut them out of your life completely. Although some will have to be permanently cut, you don’t need to do it right away, there’s plenty of time for that.
For starters, turn to yourself, be a lone wolf for a while. Until you become strong and build a firm foundation.
How long it’s going to take depends on you. It took me a year or two because I’m a little extreme. I do thing more radically and fiercely when I get a hold on to something, I don’t let go of it until I’m finished. You don’t have to be so extreme if it’s simply not you. Just endure until the end.
As soon as you realize that people putting spokes in your wheel, find a reason to back off and get out of their company. In such moments, have only one idea in mind: that you are doing this for your own good and then for the good of others as well. Only when you feel good about yourself other people can benefit from you. The reverse does not work.
3. Have time for yourself
This advice goes hand in hand with the previous one. In order to endure on your path of change, it is necessary to create time only for yourself. The story of the lone wolf has now even greater importance. When you’re alone, you have a complete control over your time and energy. In the beginning, it may seem that you’ll be using that time for sleeping. If you have that opportunity – don’t miss it.
I can almost see you looking surprisingly at the screen. What kind of nonsense is this? If I want to change, I should sleep more? Well, here are some reasons that will make you wanna sleep more.
Your previous life was both mentally and physically exhausting. You have lived a stressful life for years, maybe even decades. Now that you have finally found will and courage to change your life, your body and mind are finally relaxed, and they will try to find the best possible way to refresh, which can be done by sleeping. So take a nap whenever you can. You’ll do yourself a big favor.
Besides sleeping, I suggest that you use your me-time doing things you love, that fill your heart and soul with joy. Watching TV programmes such as reality shows or news won’t do you any good.
If you have a family, you already know very well that it’s almost impossible to find some quality time for yourself. So, when you do, make sure to spend it doing things you truly enjoy.
Do you remember what you wanted so much to do but never did?
You had a desire to learn to dance, or learn a foreign language, paint or do photography. Now it’s time to do it. There are so many things in front of and around you, surely there must be something you are particularly interested in.
It is time to focus on the fulfillment of these desires.
4. Start exercising and pay attention to what you eat
The Latins have a saying: ‘’Mens sana in corpore sano’’, meaning: ‘’ A sound mind in a sound body’’.
This literally means if your body is healthy, your spirit will be healthy too.
Today when we spend most of our time in front of the computer or TV, or on our smartphones, eating a bunch of junk food with tons of additives, it’s no wonder that most of the people are overweight, depressed and get sick.
A human, I underline, is not born to sit and lie the whole day. Your body is created to escape predators. There is an incredible amount of muscles in your body that help you climb, jump, run, swim, among other things. When you are physically active, there are many hormonal reactions taking place in your body, and those hormones create positive feelings that you need for the path of change you’re on.
When you top it off with quality food, your body gets enough energy to put up with everything you lay before it.
You don’t have to be strict and rigid, just a few changes will be enough. Make sure you start consuming food and beverages that your great-great ancestors would recognize as food. For example, start your day with a glass of freshly squeezed lemon, orange, and grape. It will get you going better than coffee. Cut out excess meat and dairy products and replace them with vegetables and fruit.
Your body will be grateful for these changes. Soon you will realize that you have more energy and that you are in a better mood. In that condition, you’ll be able to accept all new changes that are about to come.
5. Surround yourself with people who support you
A man is not an island.
So in order to make it easier on yourself find and surround yourself with people who are on the same path as you are. If there is no one around, it’s not the end of the world. Today it is much easier than ever before to find people who will support you. You are just one click away from them on social networks. It’s a good place to find not only support but motivation and inspiration as well. These new people will motivate you to bravely keep walking your path.
6. Be appreciative
When I started my own path of change, I ran into a saying ‘’Be appreciative, but not satisfied with what you have’’.
A small number of people sincerely appreciate what they have, but if they only looked closely they could see, that there are plenty of reasons to be appreciative.
Only heart filled with appreciation can sing a song of love and compassion. I suggest you to be appreciative not only of those pleasant things in your life but for all contrasts as well. It is them that made you change and that is why you are here now, on your path.
Walk down that path with appreciation in your heart, but whenever you see something you don’t like you have the right and freedom to change it.
7. Believe in yourself
This is one of the most important advice I can give you. You can easily run away from people who tell you that you can’t do something. With the same ease, you can surround yourself with incredibly supportive people. But if you don’t believe in yourself, you will never make your dreams come true and change your life.
You are your own best support. There will be days when you will want to return to the old morass from which you have come because you know everything there. These are the days you can only find comfort in yourself. Just remember your ‘’Why?’’ and look back on how much you have accomplished up till now. You’ll see that you’ve gone a long way all by yourself.
These small victories are just a part of the BIG VICTORY you are aiming to, and it is closer than you think.
So, to sum up:
- If you made a decision to change, don’t be hard on yourself, and be patient with yourself.
- Remove people that you love but that is not helping you on your path from your life for a while, or avoid them as much as possible.
- Instead, surround yourself with people who support you and see your change as something positive.
- Have a part of the day only for yourself and fill it with activities that soothe your heart and soul.
- Start exercising and pay attention to what you eat.
- Accept everything that comes into your life with appreciation. It will make you love your life and be more compassionate.
- In order to change your life, you have to believe in yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission to do what’s good for you. Pat yourself on the shoulder when you both win and fail. Be your own support, and your goals will never seem unachievable.
There. Now you have some basic directions on how to start walking your path of change. This is only a small drop in the big ocean of things you can do for yourself in order to accomplish your goal. Keep exploring and working on yourself, because your new path will bring you so many beautiful things. Keep marching forward with your head held up high. You have my full support! 🙂
And if you have your own good advice, feel free to leave it in a comment.
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